The events that have transpired in the past three days is an ode to this seemingly harmless but oh, so paranoia-inducing word: PRESSURE.
No, it’s not pressure at work at all. I’d rather have that. I was used to it in school. I’m talking about social pressure. Unlike the nature that comes with the pressures of work, or school, or what have you, pressures of society are much more unstructured, unpredictable and, consequently, harder to deal with.
Perhaps it was just too much to handle in a matter of three days. Getting mixed signals, being in an immediate environment filled with heart flutters and heart breaks, and hearing provocatively detailed accounts of physical experiences made me feel really out of it.
I came to the point of being pathetic enough to think that I should just ride the waves and accept convention for what it is. Most people say, hey, these are modern times. Then again, we actually live in a post-modern world. It’s just that our immediate milieu is stuck at “modern”. Ha.
Good thing F put some sense into me. Here are some of the things she said that really eased out all the weight like putting some eucalyptus ointment on an itchy, throbbing insect bite:
Be happy about yourself, and everything else will follow… Don’t ever compare yourself to others. Remember the day we hung out? That was the time I realized, shit, it’s so great to be single, because I can do anything that I want… Control your destiny, or someone else will.
As sensible as this was, it put perspective into my washed-up brain. Looking back at all these things at a rational standpoint, it is just a classic case of peer-media-environment pressure. At the end of the day, it’s all a matter of sticking to our principles and fixing our eyes on the prize. The world is just so big and there is so much more to look forward to.
On an unrelated note, can’t I just be a struggling freelance artist somewhere in Europe, waitressing on the side in order to pay the bills, and enjoy life? Gaaahd. Whatta fantasy.
On an another unrelated note, F lent me this book about this kind of shit. Started reading it today and got through the first chapter. Just some food for thought. And I quote:
Love is expressed in self-control, patience, even words left unsaid.
Then again, a review on the book said this:
If you are single or dating and still living with your parents, keep this book out of their hands.
Now, this is a stretchy other-end-of-the-spectrum perspective range for you. Haha. Alright, I should stop before this gets any more mushy. Eww.