Too Much

This may very well be my most raw post to date. Dear reader, if you are not down for some blunt, emotional content, I invite you to redirect to another URL. You have been warned.


You are the right person at the wrong time.

You are too smart. You are too smart for your own good.

You are a virgin and that fact is so hard to deal with.


I heard dating is fun. Dating is actually fun. Learning more about people’s stories, what they are into, what makes person A, B, C coming from experiences X, Y, Z is interesting to correlate,  especially when there is substantial volume to connect the dots.

It is fun until one considers stopping to hop from one data source to another, and dig more qualitative information. It is fun until one considers to dig up more variables from that data point, variables one did not originally plan to be keen on discovering. It is fun until the data source decides to share declared preferences, and refuses to share revealed preferences.

It is fun until the researcher gets boxed into the good girl segment, and the adventure for deeper learning stops.

Dear data point, it does not mean that if the researcher has not yet embarked on the revealed behaviors you have manifested in your lifetime, then the former automatically is not eligible to immerse and celebrate in the revealed preferences of the latter. The researcher is open to embracing your flaws, even if she has not gone through these tumultuous moments herself.

It is paradoxical how closed societies condemn liberal women, and how open societies seem to condemn conservative women.


Does it mean that I have to do something wrong, to get something stat?

Does it mean that I have to keep mum on my opinions, or let go of things I inherently disagree with, just so I’m not judged as someone who’s too smart for my own good?

Does it mean that I have to jump in the bandwagon of casual relations to become “easier to deal with”?


Yes, this is a rant. Dating is supposed to be fun. It’s starting to be a pain. I beseech the dating gods to make things fun again, please.

As in startups, does one pivot, perish or persevere?



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